


painting flowers

by tunecuck (orphan_account)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/tunecuck
Summary: jaehyung suffers from hanahaki. younghyun doesn't reciprocate.(inspired by an au i saw on twitter)





	painting flowers

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this tweet: https://twitter.com/jaepil_co/status/1051812417947164673
> 
> in case anyone is confused, the flowers snowflake and dahlia are meant to represent young k and jae's flowers respectively, as mentioned in their april vlive this year (their selfies were so cute aw).
> 
> posting this earlier than i wanted to bc of my irl chingu widjaja chen! i feel so embarrassed for having my ao3 exposed! don't @ me or i'll be so sad!
> 
> (i'll scan thru this for edits later,,, srry)

_the **hanahaki (花吐き病 )** disease is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. it ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. it can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear._

*****

 

jaehyung hunches over the toilet, knuckles white as he grips its side in a pitiful attempt to not fall over. he’s shaking, head bowed above over the seat as tears cascade freely down his cheeks.

 

 

he should have known that his feelings for younghyun would have amounted to  _this_  -the pretty snowflakes floating about in the water of the toilet bowl.  _of course_ , jaehyung would have hanahaki. truthfully, he believes that its occurrence seems painfully natural.

for years, he had been tiptoeing around his feelings for younghyun. back before the band was set to debut, in their trainee days, younghyun and him often fought with one another. while jaehyung definitely hated the younger, a part of him did want to push their petty squabbles aside and get to know him properly past their rocky relationship (despite him swearing to himself that he would never confess this to anyone. ever). eventually, they managed to get past their problems, and jaehyung’s initial hatred for younghyun quickly built into respect and admiration for the other. as cliché as it admittedly sounds, they became the bestest of friends, and at times, jaehyung wondered if their friendship had the possibility to unfold into something more.

sure, while his mind skirted around these thoughts often, he never really was fully certain if the feelings he had for his bandmate and best friend were certain. until  _just now_.

 

_i like you_

_i tried holding it back_

_but i can’t anymore_

 

perhaps, because their hearts were full as day6 poured their heart out performing  _i like you_ during their concert hours prior, with their insane love and appreciation for  _mydays,_ jaehyung’s better judgement was clouded. as he threw a glance over to younghyun as he belted out his verse of the ending chorus, jaehyung found himself awe-struck. thoroughly smitten, absentmindedly smiling at how pretty younghyun ( _“young k!”_ he can imagine younghyun groaning in his mind) looked as the pale pink confetti falling down onto the stage, practically  _glowing_  with the radiant smile lighting up his face. in that moment, younghyun literally captures the image of a  _man in a movie,_ with grin piercing through the hearts of everyone (jaehyung and the fans included), the colourful lights twinkling above highlights his features just right, and the orchestra in the background complimenting his honey-like vocals.

jaehyung felt a sharp pain flare up in his chest, and it almost halted his strumming on his guitar.

 

_now i can tell you_

_i want to love_

_you_

the searing ache in his chest buried itself deep within his lungs, before winding upwards to coil around his windpipe.

jaehyung had felt something force its way up his throat. among the pink mess of confetti flitting down onto the floor were white petals spewing past jaehyung’s lips.

snowflakes, he later found out, had sprung up in his lungs, its beautiful white flowers clogging up his chest cavity.

heaving a dry cough, more petals were sent fluttering out of jaehyung’s mouth and into the toilet.

 

 

jaehyung spends the next few days holed up in his room, alternating his time between crying from the physical pain from the growing buds in his chest and the emotional one lodged deep within his heart.

he rebuffs the attempts of his band members to coax out of his room, gripped with the fear of them finding out that he’s suffering from hanahaki.

jaehyung knows that they would force him to get surgery for his hanahaki, which he agrees that he needs for the benefit of his own good, yet a part of him wants to  _delay_  the surgery. to prolong it, as long as possible, because a part of him longs for younghyun to somehow reciprocate his feelings, despite jaehyung knowing how impossible that fantasy is.

jaehyung isn’t blind. he knows that younghyun does not feel anything extending beyond platonic towards him.

in spite of that obvious fact, he’s blinded by his love for younghyun.

 

 

“jaehyungie-hyung! are you okay?” wonpil asks, knocking the door to the bathroom repeatedly. “you’ve been in there for the last ten minutes! you didn’t faint or anything, did you? i don’t hear the water running or anything, and the wifi isn’t buffering so you can’t be watching p-“

“i’m fine!” jaehyung huffs out, mustering up as much strength as he could to mask the strain in his voice with playful indignation. in the bathroom, he’s slouched against the glass wall separating the shower area and the toilet, head tilted upwards to the ceiling with his eyes closed. next to him, snowflake flowers litter the cold tiled bathroom floor, having overflowed from the toilet.

“are you sure? you haven’t been yourself in weeks!” wonpil’s voice wavers for a second, momentarily unsure of himself before he clears his throat once and declares to jaehyung that he’s stepping into the bathroom.

before jaehyung can protest against wonpil’s actions, he feels the all-too familiar pain of flowers pushing themselves up his throat. just as wonpil works open the bathroom door a spare key, he’s greeted by the sight of jaehyung doubled over and coughing up flowers. and blood.

“hyung! what’s going on?” wonpil panics, eyes blown and mouth agape in shock before recognition takes over him. “you’re ill with hanahaki!”

jaehyung struggles to calm his breathing and wipe away his tears, begging wonpil not to breathe a word about his illness to the others, promising that he has  _got it all under wraps_ , which causes wonpil to reluctantly relent, conflicted by the predicament jaehyung is in.

“is it.... younghyun-hyung? i saw the tag trending online after the concert. the tag - jaehyungparkian?” wonpil knows he’s right when the older boy’s hold on his shirt tightens. “fans were talking about how blessed they were with the amount of jaehyungparkian interaction they had that day. how you seemed to be staring in his direction in a daze after your part of the bridge of  _i like you_. how they were worried about your health when they saw you cough abruptly throughout the last quarter of the concert.”

“yea,” jaehyung manages to croak out, taking in the miserable sight of all the flowers around him, some dotted with specks of blood.  _pathetic_ , how he’s weak and  _dying_ because he could not control himself and had to fall in love with younghyun. he feels wonpil rub the small of his back trying to reassure him, but to jaehyung, it only emphasises the hopelessness flowering within him.

 

 

one moment jaehyung was tuning his guitars in the band practice room (he couldn’t find any excuses to avoid practice anymore), and another found him collapsed on the floor, throwing up snowflakes all over it. all he could register was the blurry figure of sungjin dashing out of the room, with younghyun, wonpil and dowoon rushing over to him hurriedly. the last thing jaehyung saw was younghyun leaning over him, face etched with worry pulling him forward into his chest before he blacked out.

when he had finally came to, jaehyung was greeted by the sight of blinding fluorescent lights overhead. the sudden brightness reflexively caused his eyes to flutter close for a few seconds, before reopening them, adjusting to the new surroundings.

he realised that he was on a hospital bed in a private room, with younghyun by his side.

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s not your fault.”

jaehyung could see younghyun studying him intently from the corner of his eye, sympathy and regret fixed in his gaze.

he knew what he was here for. he was awaiting surgery for the removal of the flowers in his chest.

“hyung!” suddenly, in one swift motion, younghyun grabs jaehyung’s wrists and surges forward, kissing him roughly. the kiss only lasts for a few seconds, before jaehyung pushes him away, overwhelmed with shock and a building pain within his chest.

his chest tightens and constricts, and jaehyung coughs before choking out dozens and dozens of snowflakes.

_you don’t love me. why did you kiss me?_  jaehyung cries, as nurses and doctors flood into the romo and wheel him out of it, feeding him medicines and drugging him unconscious as they prep him for surgery.

jaehyung thinks he heard younghyun say  _i don’t know_ , with  _i thought it would make the flowers disappear_  tacked on as an afterthought.

before he fades out, jaehyung feels the part of him that was dreading surgery fizzle out. instead, it was replaced with a contented defeat - it was impossible that younghyun would ever return his feelings. what was jaehyung expecting for, anyway? he had already known what was coming for him.

 

_i’ve thought of you like this_

_but if you don’t feel the same_

_you just need to tell me_

_“i’m sorry” and_

_i’ll be fine_

 

 

jaehyung returns to the dorm a few days later with their manager, with the remains of his hanahaki simply a scar across his chest. wonpil and dowoon envelope him in a bone-crushing before he enters the front door, with sungjin patting his back (throwing his discomfort with skin-ship out the window, because their oldest member nearly _died_ ) and welcoming him home. the mood is sombre, teeming with commiseration. they all know who had caused jaehyung’s hanahaki.

jaehyung sees younghyun linger awkwardly behind them, hands fidgeting with the hem of his tee-shirt as he meets jaehyung’s eyes hesitantly. “welcome home, jae.”

_he didn’t call me hyung_ , jaehyung notes, alongside the stillness of his heart when younghyun greeted him. no longer did his heart hammer wildly in his chest when younghyun talked to him, nor did it brim with adoration as it used to when younghyun would throw him a glance and smile at him.

he felt empty, when he retreated back into his room when night had fallen, striding over to his desk to pick up the lone snowflake resting on its cool surface.

 

_after i tell you these words_

_i’m not sure if we can go back_

_to smiling like we are now_

 

jaehyung thinks it’s funny how his feelings for younghyun materialised fully with the ending of their song  _i like you,_ and how they were gone with the beginning of it.

 

younghyun crumples over the toilet, hands clawing at his sides as he keened over, throwing up blossomed dahlias.

younghyun wonders how he must be mirroring jaehyung’s hanahaki, which had been caused by him.

younghyun thinks it’s funny how he had never realised his feelings until jaehyung’s life was on the line - even then, he had came to terms with the feeling a heartbeat too late.

 

_in life, there aren’t many days_

_when things go your way_

_there are more days when it didn’t go my way_

_will today be another one of those days?_

**Author's Note:**

> do let me know what you thought of this!! i wanted to keep it short and sweet but tbh feels kinda rushed oof


End file.
